New Year's 2018 - Unexpected Expectancy
/Blessings of a fresh new year to you! I hope this message finds you healthy and hopeful as we wade into a new year.
So you may or may not have noticed that it's been a while since I've written. You know what happened? I discovered I was pregnant, an unexpected expectancy! And just like that, everything changed. My energy tanked, my hormones and emotions went crazy, and activities like non-stop grazing and doctor's appointments rose to the top of my list. Some things subsequently fell off my plate. Like thinking clearly. And writing.
Thankfully, I work for myself, and I no longer bust my own chops for missing a writing deadline. I used to feel that no matter what happened to me personally, I had to buck up, push through, and keep cranking, lest, God forbid, I become less productive. What a merciless way to live, as if we're machines rather than flesh and hearts and hormones.
I know you know this, but our lives are constantly in flux. "All things are passing" as St. Teresa reminds us in her famous "Bookmark Prayer." You set your goals and intentions, you make your plans and develop your rhythms, maybe even get in a groove. And then, something happens. You or someone you love gets sick. An aging parent transitions to a home (maybe your home) or Home. You fall in love. Your work shifts dramatically. A child goes off the rails. Maybe you hear some sort of voice saying, "Greetings dear one! God's about to do something new with you." And you cannot keep going, pushing, living like you were before. At least, not without cost, without harming yourself or others.
When those moments, big or small come, can we give ourselves the grace to drop things, say No where we had previously said Yes, alter our plans, maybe even fall apart? I remember a wise soul, after my house fire, saying, Competency is not continuing to do everything the same, but honestly naming what you can and cannot do.
I hope and pray as we enter this new year, setting intentions and seeking to (re) establish life-giving rhythms, we will also have the grace to welcome the unexpected, to be fluid in adapting as new life and challenges come our way, and to sense the divine Presence in all the carefully planned and wildly disruptive moments of our year.
May grace and peace abound for you, whatever comes.